Namely
There’s a game I like where you have to think of people whose name makes a complete sentence, e.g.
Tom Waits.
Jeremy Irons.
Julian Sands.
Russell Banks.
Britney Spears.
Shelley Winters.
Jeff Bridges.
Wesley Snipes.
Red Buttons.
William Burroughs (ok, that’s pushing it).
And, if cheating a bit, and throwing in a little punctuation:
Bellow, Saul.
Cruise, Tom.
Hurt, William.
Andy: Dick
À vous.
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Comment
- William Shakespeare.
— Michael Honey Apr 17, 12:59pm # - Justin Case – or – Justin Time
— kimi =) Apr 17, 4:31pm # - Jean Vien.
Jean Marie.
— d. Apr 17, 5:26pm # - This was a joke on ‘Ed’, wasn’t it? (Apologies if you’ve never heard of the show. It’s about a lawyer who works out of a bowling alley. Better than it sounds.)
— MacDara Apr 17, 6:46pm # - Ringo, Starr.
— Koen h Apr 17, 7:08pm # - John Waters.
Ethel Waters.
Harvey? Milk!
Roger? Mudd!
Remember the insult, ‘He’s strictly bush league?”
George? Bush!
Hieronymous? Bosch!
Natalie Wood (but)
Emmanuel Kant
Dick: Nixon
Dick: Cheney
Charlie Rose.
Pete Rose.
Yoko? O no!
W.C. Fields.
Cook, Captain.
— wizmo Apr 17, 7:19pm # - Bob, Dylan
— Juke Moran Apr 17, 8:33pm # - Mark Spitz (and so does his brother)
Rip; Torn
Bake ‘r, Chet!
Guy Fawkes (does he ever)
— moj Apr 18, 1:10am # - The washroom attendant was forced to intervene between Schwarzenegger and his rival. Pushing Arnie towards the urinals, he called over his shoulder,
“Sylvester, stall one!”
Also,
Jim: broad, bent.
Randy knew man.
Steve jobs.
Will Smith?
Tiger woods? (No he doesn’t, but it’s true that Sally fields)
A variant: add a word to make a question.
Is Simon callow?
Is Oliver hardy?
Does Tuesday weld?
Does Farrah force it?
Will Hugh grant?
Will Chevy chase?
Heard Sharon’s tone?
Should Stephen fry?
— Zac Apr 18, 2:05am # - Bertrand, Russell
— Gav Apr 18, 11:10am # - If you are allowed to mess with plurals.. Tom’s wait, William’s Hurt, Saul’s Bellow… my bedtime..
— Provencal Painter Apr 18, 9:21pm # - oops… i was wrong with my first posting – i didn’t realize it had to already be someone’s name.
so here’s my new entry:
diana, krall!
— kimi =) Apr 18, 10:59pm # - Why, Maraner?
siteconfusion#A
— Koen H Apr 18, 11:04pm # - Neil Young, and rise up singing
— Juke Moran Apr 19, 4:31am # - and from a Pakistani perspective:
– Seema Butt,
– and her sister Rabya Butt.
then, with allowance for one letter and a piece of punctuation (and to make sure Emmanuel isn’t alone up there):
– Imran Khan’t.
— shiraz Apr 19, 11:37am # - Baroness Thatcher (wigs for nobles?)
Brian, Redhead
Garrison Keillor (pronounced with a Ren from Ren & Stimpy accent to get a mass murderer)
— Matt P Apr 19, 12:45pm # - Crow(e), Russell
Rush, Geoffrey
Hunt, Helen
— esperanca Apr 19, 4:41pm # - Man, you guys are good.
Though I’m going to confess that I’m still trying to parse “Bertrand, Russell”.
Bert ran to Russell?
Brrr, trand (Finnish for close the damn door?) Russell!
Bertrand, this is Russell, Russell, Bertrand.
I’m too dumb; I give up.
(Do I get points for once having had a crush on Bertrand Russell? Or is that just too sad and geeky for words?)
— gail Apr 19, 5:27pm # - Crow, Cheryl.
Chris, tuck her.
Alicia Keys.
— Christina Apr 19, 6:12pm # - I think it’s Rustle, Bertrand.
As in, ‘Go git them cows, ‘n’ we’ll change up those brands to look like our’n.”
I can just see the old boy bolt upright on a horse, western saddle, long legs sticking almost sideways, a look of terror in his eyes, cowboy hat plopped unceremoniously on his head.
Or maybe it was the rustling sound, as if he was wearing a long skirt with many petticoats underneath that rustled as he entered the parlor?
And oddly enough, I had a crush on him too. I thought him terribly handsome and cool, and tried to read his books. I was probably all of twelve at the time, an art nerd with a thing for brainy older men, especially if they had English accents.
— wizmo Apr 19, 6:50pm # - Aw, geez… thank you, Susan. As ever, the obvious has eluded me.
I have a sudden urge to poke a cow.
— gail Apr 19, 8:56pm # - David Byrne.
Iggy Pop.
Frank, Black!
Kim, Deal.
Bob, Mould.
Axel Rose.
Ok…I’ll stop. ;)
— vaska Apr 20, 2:15pm # - Johnny, Rotten
Sid, Vicious
Paul, Cook
Ha! Sex! Pistols!
— Koen H Apr 20, 7:58pm # - Ben Folds
— blurb Apr 20, 8:25pm # - Bacon, Kevin?
Ben: Harper.
Pierce, David(’s) Hyde.
Adam: Duritz (I really don’t know what that means, but it sounds like an insult in Yiddish).
Grammar, Kelsey!
How about using “one-named” celebrities’ monikers as the rallying cry for super-heroes (in the vein of “Shazam!”):
Bono!
Fabio!
Pink!
Madonna!
LEON! (Does anyone remember him?)
— Doy Apr 20, 9:04pm # - “In the long ago and altitudinous realms of steamer trunk travel and retinues,” said a most well-to-do relative of my then-girlfriend, ” we had sailed from N.Y. to Glasgow, where we stopped overnight before catching a train to Edinburgh. We were travelling with Alice Rice Cook, the author, but of course Arthur, as a former ambassador, was somewhat better known.
“When we met for breakfast the next morning Alice mentioned, in her discreet genteel way, that the room she’d been given was the smallest she’d ever slept in, and quite sparsely furnished.”
The desk clerk having taken it upon himself to insert a comma where none was required. And the hotels of that era and station being well able to accomodate help, as well as principals.
— vernaculo Apr 21, 1:55am # - My friend and I play this one down the pub. Our agreed all-time favourite is the late, British agony aunt, Marge Proops.
...We realise proops isn’t actually a verb, but it damn well should be.
— Richard Carter Apr 22, 7:11pm # - George will.
Alicia keys.
Julia stiles.
John, cue Zach.
— Matt Apr 25, 4:27pm # - I knew a guy in my public-speaking club who has the unfortunate last name “Sprinkles,” making every speech introduction a declaration of embarrassing personal details.
— Sharon Apr 25, 4:41pm # - There is a place in DC called:
Foggy Bottom
— Pras Apr 25, 5:04pm # - the secret “credits” in Mac’s Multifinder (circa 1989?) contained:
Extra special thanks to that all around great guy,
Fred Burst: the only man whose name is a complete sentence.
— ryan nelson Apr 25, 5:12pm # - Patrick Swayze.
— Tom Apr 25, 5:30pm # - Stephen, Hawking.
— Dee Apr 25, 5:31pm # - The late (and great) John Peel
— Gary Apr 25, 5:33pm # - Heinrich, Bernd.
— Dee Apr 25, 5:34pm # - Patrick Swayze???
— David Grant Apr 25, 6:02pm # - Robin Williams
— parker Apr 25, 6:26pm # - i used to think of names like this, somewhat along the same lines
kirstie’s alley
steffi’s graf
tom’s cruise
britney’s spears
i cant think of any more now but i used to love coming
— eag Apr 25, 6:40pm # - I guess my name counts even though my great-great-grandmother added in an extra ‘m’
Mike Swimm
— mike swimm Apr 25, 7:01pm # - Will Forsdick.
Not a celebrity but he’s a real person.
— electricinca Apr 25, 7:19pm # - george burns
— mike Apr 25, 7:20pm # - I know a person named Electra Frye, and another one named Leafy Plant. I shit you not.
— Kayleigh Apr 25, 7:44pm # - My own name:
Dan Fields.
— dan fields Apr 25, 8:50pm # - - Glenn, close. – Red Buttons.
— Andrew Apr 25, 10:15pm # - I am:
Stockwell, Benjamin.
— kingbenny Apr 25, 10:15pm # - Umberto
Umberto
Umberto
Umberto
Umberto…
— Ahrum Hong Apr 25, 10:49pm # - Would Dan Rather? Is Morley Safer?
— elr Apr 26, 3:56am # - Wow. I don’t mean to be rude – but I’m going to be. With a few honourable exceptions these are some of the lamest attempts at wit i’ve ever seen. Some depend so clumsily on mispronounciations, tenuous and laboured puns, parentheses, additions and explanations that any cleverness has been drained right out. Many aren’t sentences. Some aren’t even peoples’ names, dammit. A lot have completely missed the point or don’t even make sense. Most are so utterly dull and weak they would shame Ned Flanders. If we’re ever (God forbid) at the same dinner party, you’ll recognise me: I’ll be the one drinking heavily and jabbing forks in my leg every time you speak.
I slap your mothers and so does Trigger.
— Roy Rogers Apr 26, 4:59am # - George Wendt
— Low Apr 26, 7:23am # - Bob Matthews
Tim O’Brien
Jim Daniels
— LegEnd Apr 26, 10:03am # - frank paynter (http://sandhill.typepad.com/sandhill_trek/)
— madame l. Apr 26, 10:11am # - Chesney Hawkes
Tony Hawks
Tony Hawkes
— Rob Sawkins Apr 26, 11:36am # - Ned, Flanders!
— Koen H Apr 26, 1:30pm # - Christopher Reeves.
— Elizabeth Apr 26, 4:21pm # - Hilary’s Wank
— Daniel Milner Apr 26, 4:36pm # - Jeniffer, Love Hewitt
— Exprit Apr 26, 4:36pm # - In addition to #49: Sala Came
— Low Apr 26, 9:40pm # - I have always had this kind of semantic double-take, and I do this in my native Spanish too. One you have missed is that the actress who played the feisty journalist in The A Team is called Melinda Culea, which in Spanish means “Melinda shakes her ass”.
Yes, I was about 12 when the A-Team started screening here in Spain, and I got a lot of chuckles out of that one.
Nice compilation, btw!
— Javier Candeira Apr 27, 12:08am # - Demetrice, led better.
— demetrice ledbetter Apr 27, 3:48am # - Roger Moore
Those with a British sense of humor will get it.
— David Apr 27, 8:31am # - I know a girl called Lettice Leaves..
— Heather Apr 27, 9:54am # - Bond,James! Bond!
— Stu Savory Apr 27, 12:31pm # - Eileen Dover and Ben Dover
— Lauren Apr 27, 3:01pm # - Please forgive the liberties i’ve taken with spelling:
It was already mentioned Emmanuel Kant, but thats okay, because
Ghengis Khan!
Also remember 80’s pop music?
Kim? Wilde!
Paul? Young!
Did you hear about the new place to send your fruit for the summer?
It was opened by a former rock star, and is called
John Mellon Camp
— jerrygee Apr 27, 3:40pm # - Hi everybody its Buck Naked the porn star
— buck naked Apr 27, 5:07pm # - Bale! What Christian should have done when told he would have to lose over 60lbs for “the Mechanic”...
Thomas! Pynchon your little sister will force mommy to give you a smack! You’d like that? You ARE a weird boy!
Rodney! Danger, field! You might step on a duck in there!
Billy and Melvyn Bragg!
Ronald Ray-gun – Star Wars initiator! (streeeetching…)
Cher with your friends young lady, or the clouds will go in and it won’t be…... wait for it…... Sonny! (groan!!!)
going now…
Ramm Phillip! (that’s me!)
— expatatalarge Apr 27, 5:48pm # - justin sane…he is a cool guy man
— miker Apr 27, 7:38pm # - Champ Ian my gym teacher named his new born son that :(
— cocobutter121 Apr 27, 9:16pm # - Anita Long-Dick. This woman is real…she got married to a man whose last name was Dick…and if she hyphenated her name, that’s what it would be :D
— Caitlin Apr 27, 9:23pm #
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